| Description | [Diary Transcription]
42
1836
April
but I shed no tear — I had seen Marian who had been doubting what to do but hearing from me that
all was right, determined not to see my father — It is 10 now that George is come up to say Mr.
Duncan and Greenwood are gone, after having seen the lead coffin soldered up in the drawing room and left all
safe — I have just finished writing the last 19 lines of yesterday and so far of today — a little while with Marian
about 8 and again at 8 1/2 — and A- [Ann] and I with my aunt from about 8 40/.. to 9 — fine day — Fahrenheit 40 1/2°
at 12 1/4 tonight — from soon after 10 to 12 looking after the tables setting for tomorrow morning — getting
breakfast things upstairs into our bedroom to be ready, fancying we should not get anything easily in the morning —
A- [Ann] tired —
Monday 11
7 40/..
12 1/2
No kiss fine but dullish morning — A- [Ann] and I breakfasted in our bedroom — had the things on the dressing table —
I merely took my milk and about 1/2 my usual quantity of bread and not more than a mouthful of tea —
Mr. Duncan came into the blue room about 9 1/2 and put me on a sort of scarf-cloak
and a black silk hood — over my pelisse and hat which had a crape hatband round it — could not bear the latter — felt smothered in it — it would soon give me a
sick headache — Said I could not wear it — went in to A- [Ann] — She agreed that I seemed in no mourning
at all — Had Duncan up again — thought of black crape — A- [Ann] had none that would do — kept on
the scarf-cloak — tried the hood again, and at last agreed to wear it but let it fall back, so as
not to incommode me at all — I got into the mourning coach, chief mourner and alone, at
9 50/.. — waited at the door 3 1/2 minutes which seemed very long — at the church gates in 51 1/2 minutes
at 10 3/4 — in 31 1/2 minutes from that time the whole service was over and I was at home again in 50
minutes at 12 6/.. — the vicar and Mr. Jubb breakfasted here, and followed me in a 2nd mourning coach —
then followed my father’s phaeton, my own carriage and A-’s [Ann] each with a pair of posters, and
each postboy in a black cloak — the 8 bearers walked by the side of the hearse, the 4
mutes 2 before and 2 behind the hearse to the church, and returned in the same sort of order alongside
and before and after my mourning coach (the other mourning coach and hearse left us at the church gates) —
the bearers and mutes came into the house on their return and had cold meat and cheese and beer and
wine (red and white) negus — there were many people assembled at our own approach gates as we
went, and several people all along the road — from the top of the bank the road seemed lined with people
the procession went and returned all through the town — the streets full of people to look at us — A crowd
at the church gates and from there to the church — but only a few people admitted into the church —
They took the coffin forward into the chancel — I followed close then went round to the head
of it and stood the whole time near the altar-railing — I must have been very conspicuous
but my my mind was engrossed, and I saw only the coffin and bearers — Mr. Musgrave did the
duty very well — Mr. Jubb stood at his side in the pew over the grave as he, the vicar,
committed the body to the dust — the grave took up the whole breadth of the ailse — deep
enough for 2 coffins above my father’s — let down steadily — plenty of room — coffin 2 feet 6 inches
wide, and 3 inches to spare on each side in the neatly bricked round grave — looked down upon
the coffin (could see it at the short distance off that I stood) till the service was over — In leaving the church
[margin text:] my father’s funeral
43
1836
April
L
LL
(between the door and gates) a woman among the crowd said ‘there is not many tears’ — no!
thought I, I have not shed one — nor did I shed one when my father was with me over my
mother’s grave, or over my uncle’s — There may be grief without tears — thankful
when all was over — came immediately to A- [Ann] and sat quietly with her till Mr. Duncan and Greenwood
had seen all off and went away themselves at 1 1/2 — just saw them for a moment — hoped Mr. Duncan
had thanked the bearers and them all in the name of the family for their attention — poor Greenwood seemed affected — Then with A- [Ann]
while she had luncheon, and (about 1/4 hour) with Marian who seemed composed and satisfied — a minute or 2 with my aunt
(in bed, but pretty well) and then out with A- [Ann] in the walk and in the garden from 2 to 3 3/4 — she did
not complain of being tired — the day was fine and she seemed the better for being out — Miss James
had come out just before we came in — asked her to take a turn or 2 with us on the flags, and sent her into
the walk for better air and exercise — on coming in A- [Ann] and I lay down on the sofa, and both of us
slept near an hour — then (having sent little John Booth to the post office) Letter from Mrs. Lyon, York,
to say Miss Norcliffe had called on Saturday about her Lodgings — Sorry they were engaged at
present but begged me to let her know when I wanted them and she (Mrs Lyon) would try to have them
ready for me — Considered a little while what to do — then wrote to Mrs. Lyon to say I should
probably want them so short a time afraid it would not be worth her while to alter her present
arrangements but to let me know if she could accommodate me next Saturday week the 24th instant
for a week — price finding plate and linen and cooking for me, and price of Lodgings with out finding
plate and linen — wanted 1 nice bedroom with dressing room or sitting room adjoining and another
sitting room, and bedrooms for man and maid and a room for them to sit in — wrote also to ask Mr. Jonathan
Gray if he would be at home between 10 and 11 next Saturday morning — Should like to see him there at
the George Inn — to let me know by return of post if possible — put into the bag my letter to
‘Messers Gray and Son Solicitors, York Post Paid’ and to ‘Mrs. Lyon 14 Blake Street York’ — dinner at
6 20/..— coffee — A- [Ann] did her French — went to my aunt at 9 for 1/2 hour — Then till 10 3/4 wrote the whole of
today — A- [Ann] latterly sleeping by me on the sofa — Found my cousin gently come after my
return from the funeral I think A [Ann] rather better on the whole but her mind or spirits
are subject to sad lowness though she has rather more lengthened gleams of cheerfulness today
Messrs Musgrave and Jubb breakfasted in the little parlour (my father’s parlour) the bearers in the hall,
Mr. Duncan in the North parlour, the mutes in the upper kitchen, and the postboys in the
saddle-room — Marian gave out 6 bottles of port and 3 of white wine for negus — 2 pieces
of roast beef 14 or 15 lbs each and 8 or 10 lbs. piece of ham, and 1/2 a cheese —
very fine day Fahrenheit 39° at 10 55/.. p.m. Had to prepare for cousin which made late then Heard an
odd noise downstairs so unlike our friends the rats, I thought someone had got into the house — Charged the small pistols which
not being able to find powder or ball in its place tooking me 20 minutes — had to open a new
canister of powder bought a year or 2 ago, and had to ram down with paper ball that was too small — my rest disturbed —
but found all was quiet —
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