Catalogue Finding NumberSH:7/ML/E/17/0128
Office record is held atCalderdale, West Yorkshire Archive Service
TitleDiary page
Description[Diary Transcription]

244
1834
December
U
U
If she did not think this speech plain enough she said it had not struck her much
but at last owned it was pretty plain though she still says she never was in love with
him and wonders if she ever shall be I calmly said oh yes all that would come she told me
Mr Crewe was very calm on that subject in telling her a story of a chere amie of Brooke Gr
evilles ssaid but he and his friend could very well do without those domestic com
forts she still persists that all her love is for me I led the conversation
to A [Ann] said I really liked was more than comfortable and that whatever might be
said money had nothing to do with it π [Mariana] asked if it was true that she has three
thousand a year I said no but our fortunes would be about equal and that we should have five thousand a year
said I had thought of her the first thing after π’s [Mariana] break off I was thankful things
were as they were for I was determined to have one and certainly could not have
done better Charlotte said A [Ann] not ladylike and she and Mrs Milne thought she would
not be flattered if she saw her successor but that I could not do without money
π [Mariana] took all well said she thought I had done right and perhaps she herself was the cause
of it they wondered ~ Mr Crewe does not like Mrs Milne she behaved sarcastically
and he expected better things after all the trouble he had taken about Hamlyn
he wished π [Mariana] to get her uncle and Lou to go to Geneva next summer π [Mariana] to join
them and then he and his two boys would join them all at Geneva and make a tour for
with her uncle there could be nothing wrong I made no remark but this explain
ed the passage she read from Lou’s letter that came today that with a little persua
sion she thought her uncle might be got to go to Geneva though she had preferred
Scotland on account of not leaving her mother so far this proves π [Mariana] had
thought of the plan and seriously too perhaps she wished to sound me what will
the world say? she protests she feels towards only as a brother well nous verrons
I told her that but for him I might have acted differently said I read her
last letter to A [Ann] but she did not understand it I had told all that was necess
ary but not quite all that is not of our connection nor did any know of this or
ever would this seemed to satisfy her ~ said I was not quite satisfied
with her brothers conduct about Clifton to his mother in paying with so much
difficulty nor with his management of his wife and that he had latterly
left A [Ann] ten days unvisited by him but this not to be named any more than the
brandy and water drunk by Miss Bagshaw at Mrs Bewleys ~ π [Mariana] has seemed low today
at intervals it seems she does not now like Mrs Wilbraham who has interfered


245
1834
December
U
with the friendly society etc. Mr Crewe says how worldly they all are and he cannot endure them
somehow I do not like this π [Mariana] says Mr Crewe was never conscious of his feelings towards
till L’s [Charles Lawton] conduct to him at Mr Woods in ~ 1831 I cannot quite understand π [Mariana]
she shews me she is sstill in love with me I might have her as heretofore without
much difficulty she says she is glad to see me but talks of the difference there is
when my interest is hung on another peg I asked tonight if I was not as
much attached and as affectionate as she wished me to be she made no answer I press
ed her to says yes and she merely replied ‘yes you are very affectionate’ ~ she has
kissed me as warmly as she dared venture and given me licence enough if I chose
to take it but in answer ‘do you love me’ my yes indeed I do bespoke nothing bey
ond friendship the fact is I am really indifferent to her but she would lead me
me astray if she could ~ she will send a present to A [Ann] sorry I had proposed it
as it was her own intention L [Charles Lawton] and I very good friends But no more — very fine
frosty day — no use to look at my thermometer — my dressing room having a good fire in it —
wrote all the above of today from 11 1/2 to 12 1/2 tonight —

Wednesday 24
8 1/2
1 1/4
L
U
fine soft morning — jumped up at 8 1/2 on M-’s [Mariana] coming to call me; and we sat talking in my dressing
room 3/4 hour — downstairs at 10 — sat talking over breakfast — had in the housekeeper Mrs. Duff — I asked her
opinion of Martha Booth — seemed delicate in giving it, but said she would rather give her a trial — I said
if she (Martha) left here, she had nothing more to expect from me — I was much disappointed about her —
want of carefulness and deceit were 2 bad faults — M- [Mariana] and I then sat talking in her sitting room
till 1 — Luncheon with Charles — Letter 3 ppages and 1st page crossed (nice, kind chit-chat letter) from A- [Ann]
her aunt all kindness — but nothing transpired about the contents of her sister’s letter — my aunt not
so well as when I left her — if worse would write by the next post — if no letter here, wishes
me to call, en passant, at the post office at Manchester — M- [Mariana] and I came and sat talking in my dressing room
till 2 — She asked to look at the handwriting and I read her the letter she looking over me she
said it was a nice simple minded letter she was better satisfied to have seen it
M- [Mariana] and I went out at 2 — to see poor old Molly Owen at the Lodge — round by the Red Bull and by
Grantham’s Lodge and then walked about home till 4 3/4 — Much talk about Mr Crewe to whom for
short I gave the name of Short spoke of Micklestone pronounced muckstone and
her living there and our all meeting she said we should be an odd quartette but seemed
in tolerable spirits ssaying she should now try to turn her thoughts that way
glad to have seen me for till she saw me could scarce believe things really as they
are she wondered if she could ever love him perhaps it would come but thought she
should feel as if she was breaking the seventh commandment very well satisfied
with A [Ann] should like her all the daytime but could not bear her at night could not bear
DateDec 1834
Extent1 page
LevelPiece
Thumbnail

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