| Description | [Diary Transcription]
209
1830
November
ages in the room and which was quite cold — I had never had time to take it), and came to my room at 11 40/.. — very
fine day, though rain about 8, and rainy now at 12 1/4 tonight at which hour Fahrenheit 56°. Fahrenheit 52°. at 8 a.m. —
Wednesday 17
7 5/..
12 20/..
Vc
Tidying till 11 5/.. — then breakfast — hair cut Forest — dressed — had Daldringen’s foreman to examine the carriage
springs — long talk about them — he said the steel was very bad — it was not theirs that had broken — after a
great deal said, he was sure Daldringen would make me good new ones, and make some little sacrifice to do
them for as little as he could — from about 2 to 5 25/.. wrote out last 1/2 dozen lines of 24 September and the whole of
25 to 29 inclusive — then Monsieur de Noé called for a few minutes — the countess, as he always calls
her, and her daughters still in Normandy — the vicomte going to be married to Mademoiselle . . . . . who will
have ₤16,000 down which said Monsieur de Noé is you know something in these times — but an old acquaintance
quite a match of regard — she dotes on him — quite a match à l’Anglaise — Monsieur de Noé quite
against the Bourbons — they behaved shamefully — ‘they deserted us’ — Tempora mutantur! — Dinner
at 6 25/.. — came to my room at 8 — coffee at 9 1/2 — just before and after dinner wrote out to the 3rd ultimo — Monsieur de
Quatrefages du Fesq came at 10 (by invitation) and staid till 11 1/4 — came to my room at 11 20/.. — fine day —
Thursday 18
7
12 1/4
+
at my desk at 8 till 10 — then Madame Decantes till 11 1/4, or later — Talking news etc. the black velvet
I had last winter 20/. an ell — the Lyons Satin (did not tell her it was at 11/.) good, but not
by far the best — she guessed it at 9/50. but I had said we thought things there 2/. an ell cheaper than
here — she could get me the very best velvet (black) at 25/. and the best satin (quite different from mine)
at 12/. — glad I got no more at Lyons — but I suspected all this at the time — breakfast at 11 3/4 in 1/2 hour —
at my desk at 12 1/4 — asleep from 1 to 1 1/2 — Perrelet fils at 2, and staid talking of les 3 jours 1 1/2 hour —
the best and clearest account I have heard yet — then look over books taken from home — all right — dinner at
6 10/.. — came to my room at 10 3/4 — very fine day — about 9 this evening Monsieur Fièvée sent me a present of his
little ouvrage — brochure — Causes and conséquences des Evènemens du mois de Juillet 1830. 2nd Edition —
writing till 11 1/2 — have written out today from Sunday 3 to Sunday 10th ultimo inclusive — Fahrenheit 48°. out
of my bed room window at 11 50/.. p.m. —
Friday 19
6 25/..
12 10/..
L
out at 7 40/.. to my apartment rue St. Vincent — 1/2 hour there musing — then called at the laiterie to see if it was
still there as usual, and called and inquired at the door after Monsieur Desfontaines, and home by the rue de Seine and
the Quais — en passant went into Notre Dame — well! no finer or so well kept church en province —
on the quai on this side the pont neuf bought 3 books — Mrs. Montague’s Essay on Shakespeare — Macquer’s
Annales Romaines, and an old Dutch (in French) folio book of antiquities, for the sake of the numerous plates — all for 6/25! —
home at 11 10/.. — breakfast — dressed — Try on old is to be evening gown ~ Had Daldringen — he values the
steel of the old hind springs at only 50 francs — ordered new ones — at 2 letter from Miss Hobart
dated ‘Whitehall November 15 Monday night’ — 2 half sheets one full and 2 ppages and 5 lines of the other — She had been at
St. John’s Wood that night with Miss MacLean — but could hardly find her alive the next morning — Lady Stuart
210
1830
November
added a few lines under the seal of the envelope on Tuesday morning, to say she had just heard that Miss MacLean
Expired at three that morning — I never dreampt her end was so near — on shewing Lady Stuart de Rothesay Miss Hobart’s last
letter (on the 5th instant at Lyons) we both agreed she might linger some time — perhaps, said Lady Stuart de Rothesay, over the
winter — I had been persuaded to think so — her not being able to write, never once occurred to me till,
on my return, I found no letter — She is the 1st friend I have ever lost — I know not quite what is my feeling, but
it is one of great heaviness, and heart-sinking, though I know that her release was a mercy, and what all must have
desired — Sat down and wrote to Miss Hobart ‘Paris — Friday 19 November 1830. Dearest Vere — I have this instant received
‘your letter of Monday — why it is that we are some times so short sighted where we are most interested to be
‘otherwise, I cannot understand — In spite of what you wrote before, what you have written now, and dear Lady Stuart’s
postscript to say that all is over have come upon me more miserably unprepared than I can describe — I had no
thought the final close of our anxieties was so near — I knew there was no hope of recovery — I had known
this long long before others would acknowledge it — but, as if by some strange fatality, I calculated on
lingering even through the winter, and, having been, these 2 years past, so driven from the daring to express a doubt
of skill employed or hope of good that I myself could never count upon, — the wretched habit has
pursued me to the last — It was only on my return, and finding no letter, that the possibility of her not being able
to write ever occurred to me — I alluded as lightly as possible to her illness — I waited to see the state of her
own mind, before venturing to touch in any way on that of my own — miserable, miserable mistake that I shall
think of with deep but vain regret to the latest moment of my life — Alas! my poor Sibbella could neither know
nor appreciate a motive that arose but from anxiety to breathe no sentiment or opinion respecting herself,
till I felt assured of their not being in discord with what she wished and expected — Perhaps you alone,
my dearest Vere, can thoroughly understand this, for you know best what has always been my
conviction and constraint on that one only subject on which we ever seriously differed in opinion — But
she, if any, would be fit to die — and she would not regret that her life in this world was so near
its close — I feel thankful for all the comfort she has had from Mr. Robertson — you were
happy in being with her, as you were, almost to the last — I can never forget that she had not
even one line from me such as my heart would have dictated, if it might — You know me too well
not to feel that, on this subject, I need consolation — but the greatest I can have is the assurance that you have
profited as we ought all to profit from this afflicting yet merciful dispensation of providence —
My love to dear Lady Stuart who, I am rejoiced to hear, is so much better — She is always all kindness on
every occasion — I shall write a few lines to Albane of which I beg you to take charge — I have sent
in your letter to Madame de Hagemann, and just had a very kind note from her — She begs her best love to you,
and says how very sincerely she feels for you and for us both — we have one sorrow in common, but yours has more
alleviation than mine — may it for good to us both! and may you count upon my regard as you do upon
my sympathy, and believe me, my dearest Vere, under every possible circumstance, your very affectionately attached AL
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