| Description | [Diary Transcription]
171
1827
May Sunday 6
1 3/4
12 5/60
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Bowels pretty well — Last night right middle finger up (Jane the next room to us) and two kisses
at it again from six and a half this morning to getting up with dozing between middle finger up and three kisses then playing
she on my left thigh but though as near her as yesterday had not at all a kiss to myself nor had she a right
that is a best one though she said she felt for me the whole time I was handling her or near her I this
morning looked at her kissed the top hair with my mouth and letting fall a little saliva this excited her again
the bed both yesterday and this morning was a good deal wet my night things and hair wet through would
not curl at all I have hardish work with her I should have got up early yesterday and today but she kep
t me in bed she has certainly passion enough for me Breakfast in the public salle à manger at 3 3/4 —
no more coaches to pass for Paris till tonight or rather 2 tomorrow morning 5, 6, and afterwards — went to be at home on account of
writing by tomorrow’s post to Mr. Briggs — think of being off at 2 a.m. tomorrow to be in time for the washer woman — should
have been off early this morning to walk to Chantilly but for the rain — talking over all this when the woman
came in to say there was a Diligence passing, and we could have places if we were ready — yes! — paid the bill, and off in 5 or 6
minutes — got into the Valenciennes Diligence Mrs. Barlow and Jane by themselves in the back part, I in the interior with 3 men, 2
women and 2 young children — Jane sick — an officer left us by and by, and Jane got into the coupé — I then went to Mrs. Barlow
better pleased to have only just room to sit for large parcels of merchandise than small parcels of crying children —
stopt in rue du Bouloi at 8 20/60 — walked to the place du Palace Royal and took a fiacre home at 8 1/2 — they set me down, and I came in at 8 3/4 — my aunt had
been very rheumatic — glad of my return — said she had nothing pleasant to tell me — another bug found in
her room — George had had a letter from Cordingley — the house had been broken into in March — got into the cellar — took
all the made wine — would have got into the kitchen but the dog prevented them — escaped through the garden door
into the garden and thence from the garden door into the hall green — In walking along the rue du Bouloy luckily
bought 2 lemons — thirsty — George not at home — did not return till 11 50/60 — much annoyed — spoons, sugar
locked up — sugar broken off the loaf — could get nothing comfortable — my aunt gave me a letter from Miss Mac
Lean Edinburgh that arrived on Thursday (vide the 12th line below) — would not attempt to read it tonight — out of sorts — Thought of π [Mariana] wished
she were with me or that I had someone to make my home comfortable o .
[margin text:] Rainy morning — rainy
day — with merely a gleam
now and then [illegible] rainy
evening and till 12 at night —
Fahrenheit 58° at 11 p.m.
Monday 7
7 25/60
11 40/60
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.. my bowels all wrong — washer woman came at 8 — had only just written out the bills — washed — dressed — My cousin came gently saw
it from the towel I had just washed with my things having been all moved from my 2 little bookcases, obliged to put some of them back
again — dawdling over this and 1 thing or other till 9 1/2 — from then to 11 1/4 wrote out folded and directed the letter to Mr. James Briggs (vide last Wednesday) having
made no alteration, but merely working over again the calculations to see that they were right — sent the
#letter to my aunt to read, and sent it off to ‘Mr. James Briggs, Ward’s End, Halifax, Yorkshire, Angleterre (port payé)’
at 11 25/60 — from 11 1/4 to 1 20/60 breakfast and reading the paper — very interesting debates — the late opposition
with Mr. Brougham at their head have completely changed, and the seceders from the late administration now
fill the opposition benches against Mr. Canning — went to my aunt for 1/4 hour — then from 1 1/2 to 3 10/60 read the
papers of Thursday Friday and Saturday — From 3 10/60 to 5 counting over my money left home and brought back — all
right — and making out for Mrs. Barlow as well as myself our travelling account — what paid by her what by me —
and then balance between us — then finished dressing, and ‘read my letter (received yesterday) from Miss Maclean that somehow
‘I have not opened till now — 3 ppages and the ends — very kind letter — begs me to be always candid — my pen to be as
‘free as ever may ‘humble her pride’ as much as I please — would like to contrive to meet me somewhere or other, though
‘but for a day or 2 — I was very low before opening these ppages, and am much more so now — She has my letters and Vere’s and a few
‘others locked up in a small box to be sent to me in case of my surviving her, together with a small book of
‘observations made upon her own feelings every now and then, and which she would not have seen by any human being but myself — She
‘knows I shall not approve her spending the summer at Boulogne — nor will she spend it there ‘unless driven to it’ —
‘Affairs very bad at home and through misunderstanding of one sort or other her absence necessary my heart aches —
#copied into my letter book Monday 14 May 1827.
[margin text:] Fahrenheit 56° at 7 1/2 a.m.
60° at noon.
54° at 9 50/60 p.m.
Dullish morning — heavy rain
at 11 for about an hour — at 2 10/60
more heavy rain — thunder and lightning
for 1/2 hour — In fact, a thoroughly rainy day —
172
1827
May
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‘I scarce know what oppresses me — yet oh! that I had the wings of a dove, and could flie [fly] away and be at rest! Mary!
‘Mary! thou knowest not, ’tis well, that my spirit is so heavy, and all my thoughts so sad! Sibbella! I shall not
‘go to Switzerland, and would do much to see you — Perhaps you are right — I have been too much out of society lately without
‘having had the recompense of study — yet occasionally I have felt happy — ’twas never for long — there is a something
‘wanting — would that I were wiser and better as my years increase! Is it the thought of my connection with Mrs. Barlow
‘that makes me unhappy I am bewildered how little dreams the world that I am what I am so weak unvirtuous
‘unhappy’ — From 6 40/60 to 7 10/60, wrote on a loose piece of paper the whole within inverted commas, that I have just
written out — Dinner at 7 1/4 — came to my room at 8 3/4 — settled with George, and set down the accounts, and paid my aunt what she had expended —
and went into the drawing room at 9 25/60 — came back to my room at 9 50/60 — Looked a little at the map of France and Galignani’s
Guide through France article Dinan near Saint Mâlo — Mrs. Barlow’s aunt and cousins are going there in July — and we have talked
of going down the Loire to Nantes, and thence to Rennes [Reims] and by Saint Mâlo home —
Tuesday 8
8 25/60
12 5/60
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the man (Monsieur Troffard, Marché d’Aguisseau No. [number] 3) a new man I had never seen before came about 9 to do my 2 little bookcases —
merely to put a back to each of them — 5 poplar boards 6 feet by 6 inches measured (measured them 6 feet 8 inches by 6 1/2 inches English and about
1/2 inch English thick) which the man said were bought of the marchand de bois at 1/50 per plank — Deal about 3 francs per French foot
square and an inch (French) thick — oak about 5 francs for the same — mahogany bought by the lb. from 0/50 to 1/50 per lb. — this made
them obliged to lay it on other wood in such thin layers — mahogany pays 25 per cent duty on entering Paris —
mahogany furniture therefore very dear here — stood talking to the man from 9 1/2 to 10 1/2 — he had then to come back again, and would
come in about an hour and examine my aunt’s bed — from 10 1/2 to 11 40/60 breakfast and reading the paper — the school instituted by the late Duke de la Rochefoucauld to be discontinued by the order of ministers! (some afterwards contradicted) — the man returned — examined
the 2 beds in my aunt’s room, the armoire, etc. no trace of bugs to be found — this did not take him many minutes — he
then put up the longer white muslin window blinds in my bedroom about 2 minutes work — however he did not ask for anything
and this made me think the better of him; for many perhaps most would have asked for quelque chose à boire [something to drink], —
he having agreed with Monsieur Sené to do the bookcases for 25 francs that I had no right to his doing the least thing extra
for me — Monsieur Sené is not inclined to do more than he promised — his menuisier [carpenter] came yesterday to be paid for the little clothes
horse he made us — this was well enough — but Monsieur Sené had told him, I was to pay for the lid made to the
chaudron [cauldron] MacDonald has for washing because the couvercle était une chose extraordinaire [cover was an extraordinary thing]! from 11 40/60 to
12 3/4 went backwards and forwards about the beds in my aunt’s room and breakfasted — finished dressing — stood talking to my aunt
1/4 hour, and went out at 2 5/60 — direct to Mrs. Barlow — sat with her and Jane till just before Madame Galvani came — Mrs. Barlow and I went out
at 3 — walked to the barrière de l’Etoile and up and down the Champs d-Elysées, and took a turn in the gardens, and got back
to Mrs. Barlow’s at 5 25/60 — sat in her room looking over the map of France — planning another excursion — to go
along the Loire, without going over to Guernsey — to Brussells etc. etc. — on to Lyons, and down the Rhone and to
Marseilles, Nismes, etc.? Mrs Barlow had felt very odd and as it were lost without me kissed her a little but
not much said I was more tired than with walking in the country sat on the ground between her knees while
she pulled gray hairs out of my head Jane would gladly go into the country again — longed for us to fix upon
another excursion — at 6 25/60 sat down to dinner with them, and ate a little spinach, done the French way, of which I am
very fond — got home at 7 25/60 — went down into the cellar for 1/4 hour and gave out wine 2 dozen servants 1 dozen our
own, and 2 bottles chablis — Dinner at 7 3/4 — Sat talking over dessert till 9 55/60 — my aunt says her limbs are gradually
getting worse — talked of her not liking to live with my father and sister — no earthly advantage in her going to live at
Northgate, if, as she says it will not let, but the chance of having a little society — Said how many changes there might be before next
summer, and that even the hope of having society when and as she liked might be much disappointed — went into the drawing room immediately
for 1/4 hour — then came to my room at 10 10/60 — settled with George and my accounts which took me till 11 —
[margin text:] Fahrenheit 49° at 12 3/4 p.m.
49° at 10 10/60 —
Finish day, but
cold, and sunless —
Mrs. and Miss Barlow to dine with us tomorrow and bring Thérèse
to teach MacDonald how to do spinach
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