| Description | [Diary Transcription]
122
1827
February
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‘you are ever absent from me never never by night or by day in joy or sorrow sick or in health you are the being on w
‘hom all my hopes and wishes rest I am yours yours altogether at your command any moment you chuse to call me
‘I love you dearer than life and can never do less let what may happen be happy dear one I will spin knit
‘do anything on earth you wish while I have the power to sign myself your Mariana’ this ought to make
me happy and it does I will rouse myself rise early work hard to improve myself etc. etc. From 12 to 12 3/4
wrote the last 25 lines — On the first end π [Mariana] says ‘I can send you some money next month’ ~ M- [Mariana] will want a
silk gown from Madame Hucher for the summer — Settled my accounts — Did last week’s summary — Calculated the least possible
housekeeping expenses per week — Including wine washing and charcoal I wish I could make forty seven franks
a week do but I shall be satisfied if the average does not exceed fifty ~ Settling my accounts etc. took me
from 12 3/4 to 3 — Went out at 3 1/4 — 10 minutes talking to my aunt — Direct (along the rue des Capucines) to Amyot’s
rue de la paix — Bought the ‘Manuel de Voyageur en Suisse ouvrage à l’aide duquel l’Etranger curieux
recuiellera facilement le fruit et les jouissances que ce pays promet;
par Monsieur J.G. Ébel, membre de l’académie des Sciences de Munich, de la
Société physique de Zurich, de Vettéravie, etc. Nouvelle Édition, augmentée
de l’itinéraire des bords du Rhin, par Schreiber, et de la grande carte
de Keller. Paris. Audin, libraire, Quai des Augustins, No. [number] 25; Urbain
Canel, rue St. Germain-des-Pres, no.[number] 9; Ponthieu, Palais Royal, Galerie de Bois; Charles
Béchet, quai des Augustins, n.[number] 37. 1826’ 1 volume 12 mo [duodecimo] ppages 620.
‘Imprimerie de Decourchant, successor de Lebel, rue d’Erfurth, n.[number] 1. à Paris.’
Staid to cut open a few of the leaves, and went direct to the Tuileries gardens — Walked up and down the terrasse d’eau
(reading the 1st 37 ppages of the above) 1 1/4 hour — Then on getting home walked to the end of the Place, and to see the new buildings
on the north side of the church — Would the premier of any of these houses do for the Lawtons? Came in (to my room) at 5 3/4 —
prepared for dinner — dinner at 6 5/60 — left the dining room at 8 1/4 — came to my room wrote the last 14 lines — 20 minutes
cutting open the leaves of the above work — then went into the drawing room to my aunt at 9 — Lay on the sofa 1/2
asleep but talking to my aunt — came to my room at 10 — dampish day, but fair —
Tuesday 27
6 3/4
11 1/4
@
At my desk at 7 3/4 — from then to 10 1/4 making out and writing out the monthly totals of the 1st 8 months (except January)
of my private account of last year and writing out the sums at the top and bottom of each page from the bottom of page 20 to the bottom of
page 35. Then 1/4 hour over the French total for the month of August [illegible] — then breakfast at 10 1/2 and read the paper which took me
till 11 3/4 - then at my desk again, and from then to 1 1/4, making out and writing out the remaining monthly totals of last year, and those of
January and this month of this year — a little foolish error of a few sols made so long about it — finished dressing — Went out
at 1 55/60 — direct to our butcher — bought beef and veal — Thence to Mrs. Barlow got there at 2 20/60 — Not longer than a
minute or two before Mrs Barlow and I went to her room she said Madame Galvani had yesterday made her quite
sick by saying that I had told her that if I was a man she was the only woman I had ever seen that I
should love denied this explained we had been talking of the immorality of Paris Madame Galvani said that
even she had been insulted in the streets I observed she ought not to say even she if I was a man
inclined that way she was the very woman I should insult I had seen none in Paris I should so soon accost
saying she was handsome a fine woman ~ Mrs Barlow said Madame Galvani must have seen her hand tremble as she sa
t sewing Mrs Barlow was satisfied she said I might have loved but surely should not have married her
I answered nothing would have induced me to marry any foreigner we soon got into bed she said I
must only have her once oftener fagtigued her and she was going to drink at Doctor Lefevres
but when a note came saying Mrs Lefevre was unwell and begged to put off the party Mrs Barlow expressed her plea
sure and said I might have her again I kept my right middle finger up this ssecond time a
[margin text:] Fahrenheit 43º at 8 1/2 a.m. fine and mild
49º at noon and warm
51 __ 6 20/60 p.m. and dampish day
49 1/2º — 10 10/60 __
123
1827
February
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long while she seeming to enjoy it somehow π [Mariana] was mentioned she wished her well and me happy but blamed
her selfishness I said I was the only person to blame she had married with my consent and approbation and I had
therefore no business to find fault Mrs Barlow said π [Mariana] knew what I could do I had said I had been connected with her
before her marriage I made no answer Mrs Barlow wanted me to call her my wife I shuffled off she said she was my wife
I said she knew my circumstances she said what was she then she was my mistress and cried a good deal [illegible]
she asked if I loved her I asked how she could doubt it she said she was the wife of my heart we had bo
th fallen together it was the world that made mistresses it was the one we loved that was the wife
she got to the subject of her letters I bade her not make herself uneasy about them I believed if
I had them at that moment I should give her them this seemed to satisfy her she said she was my w
ife for the present would I consent to her marrying no not now said I this again pleased her
I said π [Mariana] must be my housekeeper but I should want to pay a visit twice a year to whom to her
I should want a little comfort she must have a place to receive me in for a couple of months I sho
uld pretend to go to on the rent day she must not tell oh no that she would not now I see you do not wish
to leave me it seems she would receive my stolen visits if I chose to pay them she had before
bid me to keep what she always calls our secret that said I you may depend upon I should not be such
a goose as to tell it could do no good and would do an infinity of harm she said if my uncle could look
into this world he would see she had never wished me anything but good ~ got up just before coming
away ~ Got home at 6 1/4 — dinner at 6 20/60 — left the dining room at 8 1/4, came to my room and from then to 9, wrote the last
12 lines of the last page, and so far of this — [illegible] Went into the drawing room at 9 1/4 — sat
talking to my aunt and looking over Ébel’s Swiss Guide till 10 10/60, and then came to my room — -o.- ~
Wednesday 28
7 10/60
12
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Got up at 5 1/4 but got into bed again not having yet got into the way of rising so very early, but I dozed and dreampt
disagreeably, feel rather bilious, and am determined in future to get up always as soon as I awake, or, at least,
if I once get out of bed not to get in again — At my desk at 8 — at my general account of last year — considering how
how to arrange the summary of it, and writing out the rough draft of the summary — Breakfast at 10 1/2 — read the paper
all which took me till 11 3/4 — Then at the rough draft of the summary again and at it from then to 1 3/4 at which hour had done
the rough draft ready to copy out into the book — Then finished dressing — did my hair and all in 20 minutes, and at my
desk again ready to receive Madame Galvani who came at 2 10/60 and staid till 3 40/60 — conversation all the while as usual — Madame Galvani
said Madame Middleton had seen her husband respecting the marriage of Miss Middleton Fancying Madame Galvani knew all about it,
I alluded to the sentence against Mrs. Middleton in Doctors’ commons — Finding Madame Galvani knew nothing of this, said I was sorry to
have mentioned it — I could not understand a gentlewoman’s falling in love with her groom, but I would not on any account say
anything to injure Mrs. Middleton — Mentioned having never forgotten seeing Mrs. Middleton in her own room with her bosom all exposed —
This led to a long conversation on the character of women in general — The effect of climate, education etc. Madame Galvani
thinks les anglaises un peu hypocrites en général [the English women rather hypocritical on the whole] — I defended them against this charge — Madame Galvani says there are
many English women here point du tout sages [not at all wise] — wrote the last 7 lines, and (meant to go out but it rains fast)
and returned to my desk and accounts at 3 50/60 — from then to 5 50/60, wrote out the rough draft of the summary done this morning —
Calculated the sum of all I spent last year, and mused how to go on tomorrow — I hope to get a good deal more done this week
though I ought to break off to finish my letter to Miss MacLean — wrote the last 2 1/2 lines — washed my hands — Dinner at 6 5/60 — left the dining room at 8 1/4 — Came to my own room for 1/4 hour — put the plaid over my bed and prepared my bedroom for night — Looked into the Swiss guide
then went into the drawing room to my aunt — Looked over the Swiss guide and my
book of maps all the while, and came to my room at 10 10/60 — my tooth that Horner stopt (plugged) the farthest in my left upper jaw, so
painful 20 minutes trying to poke out the plugging and succeeded in getting a good deal of out — then took a little crême and held ‘it’ in
my mouth to ease the pain — Rain this afternoon between 3 and 4 afterwards fair but damp and hot — Disagreeable dirty close day —
another 1/2 hour at my tooth, and got a little more of the plugging out — Mrs. Barlow called upon my aunt today, this afternoon while Madame Galvani was here, and staid with her
till 4 1/4 —
[margin text:] Fahrenheit 51o at 8 a.m. fine and mild.
53o at 12 1/2 p.m.
54o ____ 6 _______
52o ____10 1/2 ___
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