Catalogue Finding NumberSH:7/ML/E/10/0056
Office record is held atCalderdale, West Yorkshire Archive Service
TitleDiary page
Description[Diary Transcription]

February Wednesday 7
12 5/60
Incurred a cross thinking of Mrs. Barlow Finished dressing My bowels tolerable — breakfast at 10 1/4 — read the paper — Monsieur Senés menuisier brought the
the loose portemanteau (frame — 2 uprights and one transverse charged on each side with 4 portes-manteau) —
well enough made — Asked the man’s address — ‘Dumont menuisuer-ébéniste, rue des Martyrs, No. [Number] 12,
au fond de la cour’. Settled my accounts all which took me till 12 — Went out at 12 3/4 direct to Mrs. Barlow
Thérèse very ill — Dr. Tupper there — She bleeding her, and will bleed her again today — inflammation on
her chest — Madame Galvani there — the chimney sweepers had been — could not get up the chimneys — coming again — all in
confusion — Mrs. Barlow had scarce had any breakfast — had no milk — went to the crêmier rue Duphot, and the man returned
with me with about a gill (6 sols worth) of cream, what we should in Yorkshire call ‘better milk’ — returned, sat
with Mrs. Barlow till 2, then brought Madame Galvani here — conversation as usual — I must read to her by and by — asked
her to go with me to the tailor rue neuve St. Augstin No. [Number] 8 — at 4 took a fiacre and Madame Galvani went with me —
In going to change the smaller pair off woollen sleeves I got on Saturday boulevard des Capucines, No. [Number] 1, then to the
tailor — Madame Galvani made the man understand the shade of drab (like an ambassador’s) I wanted —
the man makes for Lord Granville’s children, so knew quite well — returned with Madame Galvani to her own house, and
alighted a little before five — Madame Galvani made me give the cocher 2/. 25 for his fare for the hour and five sols
more for himself saying that people comme il faut [properly] always paid something additional — Went in with Madame Galvani for
her to write down for me to copy all that I wanted from the tailor — She first undressed then sat down to
write at her little work table I on one knee and leaning my hand on her knee for the first time in my life I felt
a sensation of passion for her I looked up in her face she has always a good colour but I fancied
it rather deepened I said I was ssorry when she had done writing with a sort of expression that perh
aps she might understand or observe her dinner then came she made me taste her soup it
was good said she if I lived with you you should have this once a week I said I should like it but could
not arrange it on account of my aunt I once thought of Mrs. Barlow who has begged me for her sake
to be always careful with Madame Galvani who would otherwise find us out at once ~ I asked Madame
Galvani if she knew any French girl who would suit me as a companion — she thought I meant a sort of
lady’s maid ‘un meuble qui doit être utile’ [‘a piece of furniture that must be useful’] — yes! she could find me the sort of lady’s maid that would do
for me — should have to give her (the maid) perhaps 1200/ a year — no! said I, I meant une connaissance [an acquaintance] —
pour une amie [for a friend] — She did not know one — judged from herself every French woman would ennuyer [annoy] me in
24 hours — but did not know one that would suit me at all — got home (from Madame Galvani’s into my own room) in
23 minutes at 6 1/4 — Dinner at 6 25/60 — in the drawing room at 7 1/2 — slept about an hour, and came to my
room at 10 — very fine day — hard frost and sunshine — very fine evening — very fine walking home from
Madame Galvani’s — sat up making myself a glass of lemonade being thirsty — drank this and ate a biscuit just
before getting into bed —

[margin text:] Madame Galvani brought me today a general admission from the director
général des travaux publics de Paris [Director General of Public Works of Paris], by which means I can see
any and all of them when I like —

hard frost.
very fine.
high wind.
Fahrenheit 29° at 9 10/60 a.m.
32 1/2 ° — noon
30° — 6 p.m.
27° — 10 10/60 —

Thursday 8
6 45/60
11 40/60
My bowels pretty well — in my room at 7 50/60 — 10 minutes rearranging the fire, then till 9 1/4 doing my hair
and finishing dressing! Pulling gray hairs out ~ Musing on having apparently so much to make me happy, and yet
not being so — I want a companion — I want that one of whose absence I am more and more susceptible and perhaps impatient —
my aunt said last night ‘I wish you had a companion — I am nobody — I see you a little in an evening; and it is
‘all I can expect’ — I made no reply whatever — but immediately spoke of something else — I begin to think of
ten of my aunt’s ssaying she might perhaps live to tire me I often think I am ungrateful but
I cannot help it I wish I was fitter for another world ~ I often think with Solomon ‘all is vanity
and vexation of spirit, and wish I was fitter for another world! at 9 1/4 sat down at my desk the tailor
came at 10 10/60 to measure George — gave him the copy I had just written out from Madame Galvani of what I wanted —
he brought a pattern of livery cloth given by Lord Granville — chose it without hesitation — a light yellow
brown drab — breakfast at 10 35/60 before and after till 12 50/60 read the paper and wrote all but the first 3 lines of

Tuesday the whole of yesterday and so far of today — from 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 wrote 3 ppages to M- [Mariana] I had just written the 1st 5 lines
despairing of hearing from her today when her letter arrived 3 ppages and one end — 1st date Saturday 20th January, on which day
(soon after sending off her letter) she got mine that she ought to have got the Tuesday before, but it had been missent from place to place —
and lastly and 2ndly [secondly] dated (line 6 page 1) Monday 29 January — M- [Mariana] hoping I should get it as last Sunday or Monday — a much better account
of herself — Mr. Willoughby Crewes ‘asked why I looked so ill the last time he saw me I told him Charles’s temper
annoyed and wore me to death he said he had often wondered why I married Charles I replied honestly
because my father had no money to give us that one sister had married ill and wanted all that could be sp
ared and I expected to have made a much less sacrifice than I found was the case’ he talked of ‘the awkwar
dness of a woman leaving her husband said she was always exposed to censure’ etc. etc. thought L [Charles Lawton]’ not
always accountable and that at all rates he had not half the understanding that most men had’ advised
π [Mariana] not to mind but have her own way and if he would not be good tempered to come and spend the next winter
here with me ~ π [Mariana] is determined to begin not to care Willoughby Crewe’s advice did her good and she told L [Charles Lawton] she would have
her own way or leave him ~ Miss Pattison has spent a day or 2 with M- [Mariana] and done her good — vide — M- [Mariana] was
at the Maccelesfield charity ball — Steph’s medicines did her much good — but still she could not sleep at nights — towards
the bottom of page 3, the manner in which she lives — weak chocolate for breakfast, basin of arrow root at one — fish and
pudding or a morsel of game at dinner has not tasted butcher’s meat for 3 weeks — better for abstaining from it —
drinks soda water with very little brandy in it — walks out every day, or, when not fine enough, takes an
hour’s exercise at the billiard table — hopes she will by and by be better — Duncan started for Addiscombe
last Saturday (27 January) — page 3. ‘Take a girl of seventeen to teach you French and Italian a pair of voluptu
ous black eyes to teach no not to teach you but to learn all the delights of tete á tetes with one so well versed in love’s
ssoft blandishments as yourself Fred my Fred what a fearful request do you make’…. but she will think ab
out it will perhaps consent for she can trust me ‘I can depend upon your turning back even if you fo
und you had got into a wrong road’ ~ this letter is a great relief to me — I shall rouse myself to be more happy
and contented with the things that be — answered M-’s [Mariana] letter — rejoiced at the account of herself — Say she really must promise
to be satisfied with the assurance of my writing whether she gets my letters regularly or not — ‘Mary! when you are
‘listless, think that I am with you in spirit, if not in person, — think that I am watching all you do, and listening to all you
‘say; and let this thought brace every nerve with energy — Mr. Willoughby Crewe was right in what he said to you — He could not have
‘said anything better — But he, as well as all the world, knows, that there are exceptions to all rules; and that all a person
‘has to do, is to prove an exception, — to make out, like Mr. Canning, a casus fœderis, and then apply for redress —
‘I really do agree, that some people are ‘not always accountable’, and, ‘at all rates’, have ‘not 1/2 the understanding that
‘most men have’ — and, as you well know, my argument, too, has always been, ‘but if I were you, I would not care about
‘it, but have my own way, and do as I liked’ — I did not add the rest, because I have many reasons for thinking, the less
‘you leave him, and the better, unless it be a leaving altogether — the candour of your answer to the question why did you
‘marry — ? almost makes me smile — This answer might furnish your friend with 1 strong reason for urging upon you the
‘almost necessity of remaining where you are — He knows the uncertainty of your provision even if you stay, and may deem
‘it hopeless if you quit the field — added to all this, he may feel some personal interest in keeping you in the neighbourhood — He
‘may also think your life much the better of the 2, and might almost prophetically say, ‘respice finem’ (look to the end) — Mary! you
‘know I am very much of his opinion — I merely proceed this 1 step farther, stay if you can, but, if you cannot, do not wait
‘to sacrifice life or health, but come away — a year or 2 will probably change the face of things very materially — at all rates, wait
‘patiently a little longer — If, when the time comes, we mutually think it advisable, I will certainly (deo volente [God willing]) see you next summer’ —
….... particularly advise not to be longer absent from Lawton than she can help — no more long visits to Scarborough or York, unless her health absolutely
requires her to be with Steph — the Senés not distingués enough for me — they amuse my aunt — she may call often — my time is too
valuable — ‘there is a tax on windows and doors’ (having said the land tax was heavy, and the people most heavily taxed here (in proportion) than we
are in England)’ and furniture — this last according to the rent you pay — our taxes for this apartment would be about 100/. a year [more] than we should have to pay

[margin text:] Say elsewhere, that if my aunt continues as well as she is, I can leave her, and see M- [Mariana] every summer, if not the chances are, my aunt
cannot continue many years, and thus, in that case, I should be at M-’s [Mariana] command —
DateFeb 1827
Extent1 page


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