UserWrapped4Please be aware that this diary entry contains sexually explicit language.
Catalogue Finding NumberSH:7/ML/E/10/0024
Office record is held atCalderdale, West Yorkshire Archive Service
TitleDiary page
Description[Diary Transcription]

1826 November
of Lady Acton)? the salon must have been magnificent or had a magnificent effect (if the carpet was handsome) what with lamps and candelabra —
my eye happening to glance on a paper a gentleman was reading, I just saw that it was Lady Acton to whom all these
things belonged — Madame Galvani told me, Lady Acton had also bought the house, which she supposed was now to sell, as well as
the furniture — By the way I made some bids at the weigh-scales, — bronze pendule and candelabra as far as
550, — and 4 tapis de table (4 ells i.e. 1 ell each) as far as 20/. but they sold for 50/.— the sale
over precisely at 4 — staid till the end — got there, in 1/4 hour from here, at 12 10/60 — In returning doubted whether to
go and ask Mrs. Barlow how she did — knowing or fancying she would have expected me today — turned into the gardens at
the bottom little gate — determined to come home — turned along the rue Castiglione — bought muriatic acid for
MacDonald to take out ink spots (chez Moussu rue Saint Honoré) and prunes for my aunt chez Gilbert à 0/70
a lb. and got home at 4 3/4 — then wrote the all above but the 1st 7 1/2 lines of today which took me till 5 3/4 — then settled
my accounts which took me till 6 — Dinner at 6 1/4 — the porter’s wife came at 8 and staid till 9 35/60 — Letter from
M- [Mariana] (Lawton) came just after I went out — had only time to read the 1st page before dinner — read the remaining 3 ppages and the ends
and came to my room at 10 10/60 — Poor π [Mariana] seems to have been sadly taken by surprise on finding I had been ill and h
ad Mrs Barlow to nurse me she thinks she will make herself necessary both to me and my aunt and that she has enlisted
fortune on her side π [Mariana] has been unwell I verily believe this business of Mrs Barlow’s nursing me has occasioned
it L [Charles Lawton] denies having said anything to me about his intriguing with Mrs Grantham — Fine day — rather
windy but not near so much so as yesterday — William Milne very ill — the auctioneer who sold the Belcombes’ furniture
has run off with the money —

Friday 1
7 35/60
11 1/2
In my salon at 8 5/60 — finished dressing read the French news and advertisements in Galignani — sat down at my desk at 8 50/60 —
then 1/4 hour reading over what I wrote to M- [Mariana] on Sunday Monday and Wednesday — then 10 minutes reading and musing over the 1st part of her
letter — answered it — that is wrote the latter 1/2 page 2 and a few lines (all very small and close) at the top of page 3, and then breakfast at 10 —
at 10 3/4 resumed my letter filled page 3 and the ends and under the seal (very small and close) — all in answer to what M- [Mariana] wrote
after receiving my letter on Tuesday the 14th instant – Beginning with heavens chere you have been ill and Mrs Barlow not Mary has been your
nurse will fate do everything for her and nothing for me I see how it is she will make herself necessary to you both
and my poor heart will be blighted every way but you are better and I am thankful the will of heaven be done — said that
that after what had passed at Buxton and since the commencement of this year, I certainly did hope that all doubt on either side was at
an end for ever — I was dismayed to find that hope so disappeared — I had promised to tell her all that happened —
I had kept my promise and would keep it, but that in future I should be in perpetual fear, and always calculating
what melancholy fancy would beset her next — my main comfort was gone — she had shaken my confidence —
whatever came it used to make me happy to believe that we were mutually trusting in each other, and that nothing
could injure or destroy that trust — now I had no alternative but despair — she would hasten what prudence would
delay Meaning leaving L [Charles Lawton] I must be nearer to her or leave said she had upset me, and upset my
plans as much — determined not to furnish — many advantages in staying here — the winds might take there —
my aunt would be glad enough to go, liked change — another winter might see us at Toulouse — wrote so
immediately in the hope of convincing her as speedily as possible of the worse than folly she was hurling against
her own happiness and mine — not surprised at her indifferent account of herself — Till she was more at ease she could
not be well — she might anything she thought likely to do her good (to consult Steph or have good medical
advice) but all the shower baths in the world could not reach the heart — ‘If you knew mine better, you would not
treat it so unjustly — well! ’tis ignorance, and I forgive you’ — said I was quite well at present but deep
anxiety might not fall upon me forever with impunity — against her having Eli [Eliza Belcombe] — she would be better without her — it

[margin text:] (out of doors) Fahrenheit 45° at 8 1/4 a.m.
47 1/2° — 2 p.m.
46° — 10 1/4 —

would suit Mr. Charles Lawton best, and she would have the best chance of gaining that ascendancy which might be requisite — to call in 1 of
her sisters was only tampering with the evil — If her affection for and confidence in me could not enable
her to persevere she had best make other and more lasting arrangements for heaven’s ssake to re
member what I had said to her here impossible to cram it into a letter but it ought to be unnecessary
and in whatever hurry under whatever circumstances I wrote she ought to understand me I had
thought only of her good [illegible] the high standard she held in the opinion of all who knew thought L’s [Charles Lawton] mem
ory must be much changed as also some other faculties convinced some decisive event was near
at hand she knew best but it struck me if she wished to write and tell Steph this and that she had best accoun
t for not inviting one of her sisters by saying she thought it right to try and do what suited L [Charles Lawton]
best said what she did and what she promised were widely different I was angry at [illegible] her weakness
in one case and heartbroken at her infidelity in the other said I did not take Mrs Barlow yesterday to the sale
preferring to go alone she had not been here of a week nor had I seen her since this day week should not go
to the sale today — had no heart — and it would be of no use — resolved not to furnish — it would be sometime here — [illegible]
She would not be happy while I was here I must go — said my aunt was even better than when I last wrote having
got rid of her cold — all the effect of quiet and climate she had no pother — nothing to do but read Galignani’s messenger
which amused her exceedingly — delighted at M-’s [Mariana] attention in spinning her a gown — exclaimed ‘nothing like Mary!’ —
said if she had written the the sort of note she mentioned, to Miss Kinnersley she had done — said it was Lady Acton’s sale —
and that according to the present rate of prime cost prices, things seemed taken altogether to sell for above 2/3 of what
they cost when new — if Lady Acton had made a reasonable purchase of them, and a reasonable agreement with her
auctioneer (no duty paid to government but auctioneers charged from 5 to 10 per cent for their trouble so the porter’s wife told me
last night) her ladyship could not lose much by her furniture, considering that it seemed to have been a good deal
used — said she might tell Mr Willoughby Crewe the Tribunal of correctional police had just condemned Poulton
(on Wednesday vide Galignani page 3 column 1.) to a fine of 500/. for offering for sale 6 copies of the Adventures de Faublas
and 2 copies of the Abrégé de L’origine des Cultes, by Dupuis — I wonder what M- [Mariana] will say to this letter — said hers had affected
far far more deeply than she thought — sent off my ppages to the great post at 1 5/60 — directed like my last (to Lawton) then wrote all but the 1st line of
today which took me till 2 — went out at 2 20/60 direct to Quai Voltaire — found Mrs. Barlow and Jane on the point of going out —
went with them to Mellerio’s rue de la Paix, and the great tea shop Place Vendôme, and to buy worsteds in the rue Saint Honoré, then to the rue
des Champs Elysées to see Mrs. Barlow’s new apartment — the Marquis de St. Leger who now occupies it, occasionally cracky
but a very gentlemanly old man, received us very politely — a nice little apartment which I daresay Mrs. Barlow will make very
comfortable — got back to Quai Voltaire at 4 3/4 — Left Jane to go and see her friend Adèle for 1/4 hour — Mrs. Barlow and I tête à tête
about 1/2 hour — She leaned on my shoulder on the sofa not time enough to get very pathetic she told me she had three
hundred pounds in her banker’s hands on coming away she came as usual with me to the out door where we
stood above quarter hour I pressing her near me she [said] nothing loth told her I could stand it no longer I was
quite wet ah said she you would not mind it if I had it that nasty stuff she certainly likes to think
she has excited me but said she you could feel this for another of course I declared yes she answered you
know it will soon be your duty meaning for π [Mariana] I told her if on leaving her apartment all was not ready for
her we should be glad to see her here she should have half my bed told her of my having looked number four rue d’
Anjou at which she seemed pleased — Mrs. Barlow told me it had cost Miss Harvey, Mrs. and Miss Middleton and Mrs.
Heath when they travelled in Italy (vetturino) just 10/. a day each, including all expenses they were kept, and
went where they liked — said we, my aunt and I, could not travel at that rate — got home at 6 25/60 — Dinner at 6 35/60 — afterwards
wrote the last 15 lines, and had just done when the porter’s wife came at 8 35/60, and staid till 10 — came to my room at 10 10/60 — Very fine
day — began to rain soon after I got home and rained all the evening — o. —
DateNov-Dec 1826
Extent1 page


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